#am period

[kimeoshi]

studies

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[aheavenofhell]

Aziraphale raising his wing for Crowley hits so different with the S2 context. I feel like we all looked at it as, here’s this sweet little principality, he’s kind and naive so he’ll shelter even a demon—but it wasn’t really that, was it? It wasn’t just some random act of kindness.

It was a message.

When Crowley slithered up that wall, Aziraphale was nervous. Because he gave his sword to the humans, sure—but also perhaps because he was seeing this angel again for the first time since he had fallen. He learns Crawly’s new name (Crowley never asks him for his name, he knows it already) and they have a brief exchange that was probably a lot like the ones they used to have.

Then when the thunder starts, it’s Crowley who’s first to move to him, to shuffle hopefully to his side.

I think when Aziraphale lifted his wing up, it was almost a way to say I remember who you are, I remember the kindness you gave me. I’m still here.

He wasn’t just playing umbrella. He was letting Crowley know he hadn’t been rejected by all of Heaven.

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[rhcenyra]

PERIOD DRAMA APPRECIATION WEEK 🎞️

day 7 – free day

[periodcostumefantasylover]

Miroslavas wedding dress & kokoshnik in I am Dragon

[welcometogrouchland]

♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫

(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that

[spkyart]

Don't make me wild like you

[zoeyirl]

Don't we all deserve more eye pics though?🥺🥺pretty please?!

YES

[nordidia]

oh yeah you know what time of the month it is

[uncanny-tranny]

Not a day goes by where I do not think about the advent of medicine like PrEP and wonder just what the people - especially queer people - who passed from HIV/AIDs during the AIDs crisis would think

And then, I read this survivor's testimony and it just makes me emotional. I think this is the closest answer we have. HIV has changed, and we must always remember the people who didn't see that change before it happened.

[corrodedcorpses]

18+ mdni

Can’t stop thinking about eddie coming home after a bad day to you cuddled up in the couch with your heatpack looking absolutely miserable from your period. He hardly even grunts out a hi as he’s picking you up almost forcefully while still making sure he doesn’t hurt you with your cramps. He takes you to the bedroom and lies you down on the bed as he crawls on top of you and kisses all up your neck

“How are you?” He mumbles out between kisses, “you feel okay? Cause I need you baby. God, please, can I?” He asks too softly for his actions as he pulls back and looks at you with all the concern in the world.

You can tell he’s fighting the urge to just ruin you but you know he worries about hurting you more.

You start to get squirmy underneath him already, from all of the attention and how desperate he is for you. You nod as you whisper please in a much whinier way than you meant to as you fix his bangs softly.

It’s makes Eddie’s heart and cock ache.

He hops off you long enough to pull your sweats and underwear off, pushing his work pants just below his ass to free his throbbing cock as he sighs at the relief. He spreads you slightly as spits right over your clit. Fixed on the sight as you moan at the feeling.

He climbs back over you and lines himself up. Pushing the head in. His eyes roll back and his body goes rigid at just that before he covers your body with his own as he buries his face in your neck. Holding onto you as if you’re going to slip through his fingers if he doesn’t keep a tight grip on you.

He grinds further and further into you, moaning and whimpering and panting against your throat. Completely drunk on your pussy before even fully inside.

The desperate, almost relieved moan that leaves his lips once his hips are flush with yours has you rolling your eyes back. He starts moving his hips instantly.

You can tell how much he wants to just use you right now but you both know that would be too much. So he opts for long, deep thrusts instead. Feeling every inch of each other as his cock rubs against your walls.

A compromise that has the stresses of the day melting out of Eddie’s muscles and has your muscles tightening around him. It feels relaxing and intense and all consuming and everything you didn’t know you needed right now.

All while Eddie’s moaning, whining and babbling against your throat, his spit slick lips moving against the sensitive skin as you catch every other word.

Babbles of god you feel so good, fucking made just for me, shit I’m gonna ruin you and so fucking perfect fall from his plush lips.

His desperation and care have you barrelling towards release and you can tell he’s not far behind. You can feel him almost trembling where you have your arms wrapped around him just as tight. Both of you just clinging to each other, needing each other and drinking in the feeling of being needed.

“Shit baby, feel too fucking good,” he groans out as his hips start to slightly falter. His thighs tensing as he tries to keep his rhythm.

“Fuck I know you’re close pretty girl, squeezing me so tight, know you need it baby, c’mon angel you can do it, c’mon baby give it to me. I need it baby I fucking. Need. It.” He grits out, accentuating the last words with each thrust.

His almost nonsensical jabbering has you flying over the edge as your moan of his name gets stuck half in your throat. Your chest presses against his even tighter as your back arches uncontrollably.

“Yes baby, yes, fuck,” is all of Eddie’s warning before he’s thrusting deep and spilling inside you.

He grinds right against your deepest spot as you both ride out your highs together in a mix of moans and roaming hands as you find purchase on any space you can.

You both melt against each other as you come down. Still wrapped around each other, neither wanting to let go. You both stay like that until your bodies start to feel stiff and Eddie gently lifts himself off you. He lifts you up again with even more care than when he came home and carrying you to the bathroom.

He showers with you as he cleans you up and peppers you with kisses before he gets you both dressed in fresh pjs. He gets you comfy back in your position with a freshly heated heatpack and orders your favourite meal as he cuddles up to you.

His need and desperation turning softer as he stays glued to your side all night.

[doesephs]

jean moreau using a credit card for the first time bedtime sketch

[sherrymagic]

Aou Thanaboon and Boom Tharatorn WE ARE | EP. 11 — behind the scenes

[choccy-milky]

more dom clora and needy seb 😇

🔞🔞!!NSFW!!🔞🔞

[poipiku]

[twitter]

[xochimillilili]

Shout out to being so so fucking needy and whiny that you just stupidly hump and rut into a poor little plushie while whining like a pathetic dumb pet who misses its owner